Mini Miracles

Something I wish someone had told me when I started this journey was that there was a plethora of information and people willing to help if only you knew where to look, and who to talk to. The one thing that still gets me everytime I encounter someone going through fertility treatments is how alone they feel. This shouldn't be something that a woman has to hide. Fertility struggles happen to 1 in 6 Canadian couples, which is a staggering statistic. As much as we feel alone in this struggle, that's not the case and that's what I was so excited when I heard about the Canadian Fertility Show that will not only bring these topics to the forefront but also allow couples to talk with specialists and learn what the right path is for them. The first-ever Canadian Fertility Show will bring together experts in the fields of reproductive medicine, natural medicine and psychological support to provide education and support for prospective parents. This is not just a show for coup

Today as a frustrating day. I went into the last few month with a beacon of hope and now it seems to have dimmed.  I have been on Metformin for 6 months, I have lost 35lbs, I started eating healthy (ie no dairy or sugar) and still nothing has changed. My doctor called me this morning and told me that I am still not ovulating which makes it impossible to get pregnant. Which is my end goal here, right? but as of today, that goal seems further away. He told me that the pills should have worked by now and that we need to think about other alternatives.  I feel hollow. I honestly feel like giving up.I know I won't because this is something I have wanted and have tried to achieve for three years, but sometimes I just think its too hard, its too much pressure and that I'm better off just letting nature takes its course.  At this point have two options: 1. take Clomid which is a drug that helps me ovulate. I can only take it for 6 months at a time before my body rejects it

Since I stopped going to the fertility clinic I have had some very drastic ups and downs when it comes to my fertility. I started taking the herbal supplements and for a time that worked. But then it stopped working, to the point where I knew I had to do something different. And the thought of the going back to the clinic made me so stressed, so I talked it over with my husband and we decided that if things didn't change we would go back to the clinic in the summer. Well the closer the summer came, the more I dreaded going back. I didn't want to have 5 to 8 ultrasounds a month, I didn't want to be forced to ovulate. I wanted someone, anyone to tell me exactly what was wrong and how to fix it. I didn't want a temporary fix, I wanted something that would get my body back to the way it was before I started birth control. So I started asking around and it was actually my mom that suggested I go see her diabetic doctor. At first I was confused because I don't have di

I can't believe its been almost 2 years since Cam and I started trying to have a baby. It seems like the time has flown by, but it also feels like we have been on this journey forever. Over the past 700 some odd days we have had good days, and some really bad ones as well. I will admit that the last few months have been more bad than good on my part. Cam has tried to make me feel better as best he can, but really what can he do? Every month the one thing I want doesn't happen, and Cam being the amazing man he is, wants to give it to me, but doesn't have that power. God, sometimes I wish that he could just buy it for me and that would be that, but unfortunately we have to wait for the universe to grant that gift. There are days where I beg the universe to be on my side for once, then there are days where I tell it to fuck off because I'm sick of the roller coaster of emotions. Sometimes I wish that I didn't want this so bad, because then maybe I  wouldn't live in

Lets just start by saying that it has been 3 and a half months since I last went to the fertility clinic, and honestly I think it was the best decision I have ever made in the year and a half since starting this journey. These last few months have been extremely eye opening for me. When I first decided to stop going for weekly check ups I knew that the future was uncertain. I had no idea what was going to happen, if my body would miraculously go back to normal (ya right!) or if I would just resign myself to the fact that maybe having kids just isnt what is supposed to happen right now. The one good thing that came from the fertility clinic was figuring out WHY my body was being a bitch. And because I found out that I don't ovulate every month, which is actually called anovulation. Apparently this is quite common but still didn't solve my actual issues. So I did some research on some natural remedies that might help my body go back to normal and found a few herbs that might he

Sometimes I wish that I didn't care so much, I wish that what's happening to me wasn't that big a deal, and sometimes I just wish that I wouldn't be so disappointed every month when it doesn't happen. What makes it so hard for me is being surrounded by images of motherhood. I don't think people realize how many advertisements, images and posts about babies, kids or even motherhood there are. Just think about it for a minute, you are watching TV and you see a commercial for Pampers. Normally you wouldn't think anything of it, its just a commercial about diapers. But for someone going through fertility its a remainder of what you don't have. Every time I watch one of those commercials I see a baby and I wish that I wasn't having such a hard time conceiving. And they are everywhere; TV commercials, ads for baby clothes, baby toys, maternity clothes, strollers etc. Its everywhere and it honestly sounds dramatic when I say it out loud, but its the truth.