Do NOT say these two phrases...ever
Going through fertility treatments is difficult, not only on your body on your mind as well. And there are some things that you just shouldn't say to someone who is struggling to get pregnant. Since Cam and I have been trying for a while now, people have a need to comment on our struggle, which is totally fine with me. I love the support and knowing people are rooting for us makes this process a lot easier in some ways. But there are two phrases in particular that drive me up the wall; "stay positive," and "it will happen when you stop thinking about it so much."
Now, I know that people don't mean to say these things to piss me off, but most of the time it does. Even last night when I had a breakdown moment where everything just seemed like shit, Cam told me to stay positive, even though he knows that I hate it. In that moment it made me laugh because he is my husband and he has seen all the medications, all the shots and been to all the appointments with me. And I know he just wants me to be happy. But he knows I hate that phrase. Why does it bother me so much? Well for starters staying positive is easier said than done. When you get poked and prodded every other day for 2 weeks and then find out it didn't work, the letdown is more than people realize. The realization that you have to do the whole process AGAIN is draining. And someone saying "stay positive, it will happen" doesn't help my situation. It makes me more angry and upset because in that moment it doesn't feel like its going to happen, and its extremely hard to stay positive, even though I try as best I can.
Another phrase that gets under my skin is, "It will happen when you stop thinking about it." Now this is just bullshit. I get that the phrase works for people that are trying on their own, where everything works properly etc. But when you see a doctor every week, where they tell you when you are ovulating and when to have sex, its VERY hard to not think about it. Impossible really. I have someone telling me almost every second day what is happening to my body and what time is best to make a kid, so saying to me that "it will happen when I stop thinking about it," can be eye roll inducing. I mean I understand that people are just trying to make me feel better, and I love them for it, but if you want to make me feel better, try taking my mind off it. Try talking to me about something other than babies.
When you are trying for a baby and can't get pregnant, seeing people posting things can be both a happy and sad experience. I love babies, I love everything about them. I also love seeing pregnant woman, I have nothing against posting selfies and baby bump pictures. If I was in their position I would be doing the same thing. But some days it can be very hard seeing those things. Yesterday was one of those days. Everywhere I looked there were baby pictures and baby bump pictures, and almost worst of all were the posts about how they hate being pregnant. I get that you can have bad days, and I am not saying that when I get pregnant that I won't have days where I complain about certain things, but seeing someone say they hate being pregnant when I want to be so bad makes me want to shake them. I would give anything in the world to be in their position, but sadly it's not in the cards for me right now. And some days I am okay with that, and then there are days like yesterday where it all became to much and the stress of it all took over.
Hopefully there are more good days than bad going forward!
~Siobhan~
Now, I know that people don't mean to say these things to piss me off, but most of the time it does. Even last night when I had a breakdown moment where everything just seemed like shit, Cam told me to stay positive, even though he knows that I hate it. In that moment it made me laugh because he is my husband and he has seen all the medications, all the shots and been to all the appointments with me. And I know he just wants me to be happy. But he knows I hate that phrase. Why does it bother me so much? Well for starters staying positive is easier said than done. When you get poked and prodded every other day for 2 weeks and then find out it didn't work, the letdown is more than people realize. The realization that you have to do the whole process AGAIN is draining. And someone saying "stay positive, it will happen" doesn't help my situation. It makes me more angry and upset because in that moment it doesn't feel like its going to happen, and its extremely hard to stay positive, even though I try as best I can.
Another phrase that gets under my skin is, "It will happen when you stop thinking about it." Now this is just bullshit. I get that the phrase works for people that are trying on their own, where everything works properly etc. But when you see a doctor every week, where they tell you when you are ovulating and when to have sex, its VERY hard to not think about it. Impossible really. I have someone telling me almost every second day what is happening to my body and what time is best to make a kid, so saying to me that "it will happen when I stop thinking about it," can be eye roll inducing. I mean I understand that people are just trying to make me feel better, and I love them for it, but if you want to make me feel better, try taking my mind off it. Try talking to me about something other than babies.
When you are trying for a baby and can't get pregnant, seeing people posting things can be both a happy and sad experience. I love babies, I love everything about them. I also love seeing pregnant woman, I have nothing against posting selfies and baby bump pictures. If I was in their position I would be doing the same thing. But some days it can be very hard seeing those things. Yesterday was one of those days. Everywhere I looked there were baby pictures and baby bump pictures, and almost worst of all were the posts about how they hate being pregnant. I get that you can have bad days, and I am not saying that when I get pregnant that I won't have days where I complain about certain things, but seeing someone say they hate being pregnant when I want to be so bad makes me want to shake them. I would give anything in the world to be in their position, but sadly it's not in the cards for me right now. And some days I am okay with that, and then there are days like yesterday where it all became to much and the stress of it all took over.
Hopefully there are more good days than bad going forward!
~Siobhan~
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