Mini Miracles

Today was a hard day. I found out that this round of treatment didn't work, and that in itself made my day go from good to bad in a matter of seconds, but then I remembered that I am going to have to do the whole process over again and honestly it just makes me sad and a bit anxious. I know it was naïve to go into this treatment thinking it would work right away, and to be honest I think I knew it wouldn't work this fast but after going through all the ultrasounds, blood work and appointments I was hoping that by some miracle I wouldn't have to do it all over again. But here I am about to start this whole process over again. So far I know that there is nothing physically wrong with my reproductive organs, so that rules them out as to why I can't seem to get pregnant. So it must be hormonal I guess, but until I have my meeting with the doctor next week, I wont know exactly what the issue is. And for me that is extremely frustrating. Right now my next cycle has starte

People don't tell you how utterly exhausting this whole process is from start to finish. I am sitting here at work utterly exhausted to the point where it is hard for me to concentrate on what I am actually supposed to be doing. Cam seems to think that its a symptom that I'm pregnant, and that very well could be true. But for me I think its the fact that I have yet to have a good night sleep in over 2 weeks. With all the hormones and the big question of whether or not I will get pregnant hanging over my head, I also have the added stress of wanting to move as soon as possible, and the fact that we haven't found a place yet is a huge weight on me right now. I almost feel like I want my life to move forward and right now its at a standstill and I hate it. I feel like I'm stuck in rut and I can't get out and I don't know how to fix it. I need a change and fast, but apparently life has other plans, and it being winter and super crappy outside does not help my mood