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My Fertility Journey (So Far)

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I have debated for weeks whether or not I wanted to make this blog. I have blogged before, but never about something so personal, and so close to me. I want to preface this by saying that yes, I know I am young and yes, I know what is happening to me has happened to many other woman around the world. But to me, this experience has changed me and is something that hurts so bad sometimes that I wonder if what I want will ever happen. But by talking about what I am going through I hope to help at least one other person know that they are not alone. I have wanted to be a mother since, well since forever. There was never a time in my life where I didn't see myself with at least one kid, so when I met my husband Cam and we began to plan our life together, naturally I thought that future would involves children, many I hoped. What I didn't bargain for was the speed bump I am on right now. Cam and I have been married for almost 2 years, together for 6 and so a year after we got m
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Does Thinking Positively Really Make a Difference?

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So I was reading an article last night about the dreaded two week wait when going through fertility treatments. This is the point in the process where you have ovulated and are just waiting to see if you are in fact pregnant. I hate this time period. I went through it right after Christmas when I was positive I was pregnant (but in fact I wasn't) and it is the longest 14 days ever. For someone who has zero patience most of the time, these 14 days seem like they go on forever. The article went on about what you should do to help your body along; eating healthy, exercising and trying not to stress yourself out too much. All of these things I am doing on a daily basis anyway, but what it also said was have a positive attitude. They said to imagine yourself pregnant during these 2 weeks and it will somehow help. I am a little skeptical of this, for many reasons. But the main reason why I don't like this idea is the letdown. If I do in fact tell myself I'm pregnant and then f
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Does it get any easier?

I find myself wondering if this ever gets any easier. Will I always feel a pit in my stomach seeing someone I know announce they're pregnant? Will I always have this irrational fear that someone I'm close with will get pregnant before me? I hate that feeling. I think many women who go through fertility treatments for an extended period of time will attest to this. That feeling of utter jealousy is not an emotion I ever want to feel towards someone I know. It's an emotion that causes other emotions to gain access to my brain, like anger, sadness, and envy. I hate all of those emotions when it comes to seeing pregnancy announcements because I am so happy for them, I love that they are able to grow their family and bring a child into this world. I just wish it would happen to me. I've been told to stay off social media, "just don't pay attention to it," but in reality, it's everywhere. You don't notice all the subtle things you see during the day
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