Guilt
I can't believe its been almost 2 years since Cam and I started trying to have a baby. It seems like the time has flown by, but it also feels like we have been on this journey forever. Over the past 700 some odd days we have had good days, and some really bad ones as well. I will admit that the last few months have been more bad than good on my part. Cam has tried to make me feel better as best he can, but really what can he do? Every month the one thing I want doesn't happen, and Cam being the amazing man he is, wants to give it to me, but doesn't have that power. God, sometimes I wish that he could just buy it for me and that would be that, but unfortunately we have to wait for the universe to grant that gift. There are days where I beg the universe to be on my side for once, then there are days where I tell it to fuck off because I'm sick of the roller coaster of emotions. Sometimes I wish that I didn't want this so bad, because then maybe I wouldn't live in