Mini Miracles

Today as a frustrating day. I went into the last few month with a beacon of hope and now it seems to have dimmed.  I have been on Metformin for 6 months, I have lost 35lbs, I started eating healthy (ie no dairy or sugar) and still nothing has changed. My doctor called me this morning and told me that I am still not ovulating which makes it impossible to get pregnant. Which is my end goal here, right? but as of today, that goal seems further away. He told me that the pills should have worked by now and that we need to think about other alternatives.  I feel hollow. I honestly feel like giving up.I know I won't because this is something I have wanted and have tried to achieve for three years, but sometimes I just think its too hard, its too much pressure and that I'm better off just letting nature takes its course.  At this point have two options: 1. take Clomid which is a drug that helps me ovulate. I can only take it for 6 months at a time before my body rejects it

Since I stopped going to the fertility clinic I have had some very drastic ups and downs when it comes to my fertility. I started taking the herbal supplements and for a time that worked. But then it stopped working, to the point where I knew I had to do something different. And the thought of the going back to the clinic made me so stressed, so I talked it over with my husband and we decided that if things didn't change we would go back to the clinic in the summer. Well the closer the summer came, the more I dreaded going back. I didn't want to have 5 to 8 ultrasounds a month, I didn't want to be forced to ovulate. I wanted someone, anyone to tell me exactly what was wrong and how to fix it. I didn't want a temporary fix, I wanted something that would get my body back to the way it was before I started birth control. So I started asking around and it was actually my mom that suggested I go see her diabetic doctor. At first I was confused because I don't have di

I can't believe its been almost 2 years since Cam and I started trying to have a baby. It seems like the time has flown by, but it also feels like we have been on this journey forever. Over the past 700 some odd days we have had good days, and some really bad ones as well. I will admit that the last few months have been more bad than good on my part. Cam has tried to make me feel better as best he can, but really what can he do? Every month the one thing I want doesn't happen, and Cam being the amazing man he is, wants to give it to me, but doesn't have that power. God, sometimes I wish that he could just buy it for me and that would be that, but unfortunately we have to wait for the universe to grant that gift. There are days where I beg the universe to be on my side for once, then there are days where I tell it to fuck off because I'm sick of the roller coaster of emotions. Sometimes I wish that I didn't want this so bad, because then maybe I  wouldn't live in